Right now is as real as it gets

Posted on 04/14/2011 by Sheila

Right now, at this very moment, is at real as it gets. Nevermind our fantasies of the future, and our romantic notions of the past. Our reality is in the here and now and we can only control our actions and reactions at this very moment. We must be mindful not to displace ourselves by pining for the long gone past or wishing to accelerate to the future. All we have is now.

And if we accept that all we have is now, then each moment should be imbued with a sense of purpose defined by our needs of today, the lessons learned of the past, and preparations for the future. Our journeys should be of steady forward progress, but our attachments to false realities (the past and the future) often slows us down tremendously. Our past is very important because it has shaped our desires, dreams, fears, and our perspective. However, far too often we keep ourselves mired in the past, holding on to past hurts, attacking ourselves with doubts about our actions, and dragging our hearts down with regrets. Life’s lessons are priceless, and so understanding the past is crucial. We must understand how to examine, learn from, and put aside the past. Rumination does no good because as time passes we are keen to distort our actions, feelings, and all involved entirely. As we are no longer in the same mindframe as we were in the past, judging ourselves and others by today’s standard is irrational.

Sometimes the glitter of the future stymies our progress as well. That which we endure in the present can seem so dull compared to the flawless enchantments of the future. What can be and what may be can only be determined by our focused efforts of today. The future can change so easily and, as we are masters of being attached, these slight or major changes can leave us reeling, disappointed as we had already fallen in love with what we expected to happen. Sure we can have a framework for expectations, but endless dreaming will bring us to ‘the future’ and we will have done nothing. The future is but a mirage, as formless and untouchable as wisps of smoke. We know nothing of its true nature.

“If you fail to plan, you plan to fail,” is a favorite of my dad’s. The present is all about planning; laying the foundation for the future we wish to experience. In the present, we mix experience with hope and real, concerted effort, and we build our future with tangible means. Our imagined glory of the future can only be manifested through constant and consistent attending to our personal growth, accumulation of knowledge, follow-through and faith. Our happiness will spring forth from our constructive actions and the rewards garnered from them.
Walking forward, heeding past experiences, we are made ever-ready for our future.

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Manage your expectations

Posted on 02/15/2011 by Sheila

Everyone remembers the story of the little train that could. The refrain “I think I can” is so simple and yet so effective. Despite the ‘obvious’ obstacles to our goals, if we think we can, we ultimately can. And if we don’t try, then we definitely cannot.

That little train had to address two issues. One was allowing himself to want more. The other was believing he could do more. Often people think that they should keep their goals within a “realistic” range. We believe that if we keep expectations to what seems possible, we’ll never be disappointed. In reality, by limiting our goals, we never fully realize what we can accomplish with that extra bit of push and motivation to satisfy ourselves. By erecting a glass ceiling, we satisfy our need to reinforce our positive image of ourselves. We set a goal and we are responsible enough to achieve it. However, if that goal is less than ambitious, we are curtailing our abilities to stretch further and do so much more. In the short run, we are cheating ourselves, and in the long run we’ll eventually realize it and shatter all notions of our positive self image.

We have to be willing to face our mistakes along our journey and give them their appropriate weight. A setback is no indication that the goal should have been set closer. Rather, we no have learned one of the ways that we will not get to our goal and we adjust accordingly. It is this continual adjustment of our approach which allows us to surmount obstructions in the road and make it farther than we would have previously dreamed. All the tools to achieve what we want are within us. We just have to believe that we have the will, ability, and perseverance to see our trials through.

Keep your personal expectations high and you’ll keep amazing yourself with what you can accomplish.

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Swing Freely

Posted on 01/21/2011 by Sheila

Attachment to bad experiences in our lives serve as anchor points which prevent us from moving forward and enjoying life’s every possibility. Not only do these anchors prevent forward progress, but they offer a comfortable rut which effectively feeds our negative ideas and validate our ego.

When we think of ego, we often think of our pride. Our ego tells us we are important and actions done to us are personal. Therefore when we are wronged, our ego screams, “How could this happen to ME!” as if the offender was out to get us. It may seem as such, but rather the other person is acting in a way that serves him/her regardless of the effect on us. The inconsiderate guy that cuts us off and nearly runs us off the road has no vendetta against us, and yet we react to his car swerving as if he was personally out to kill US. The untrained ego has very little perspective outside of us being the center of the universe.

We become mired in the pain that was inflicted upon us and see the situation in a very black and white way as them against us. If we fail to resolve the issue, understand our culpability in the situation, and move on, we allow a hurt to fester and slowly eat at us. We can all recall a painful incident with an individual that smarts as much as it did when it first happened. Recollection is healthy, but rumination is not. It is important to recognize the patterns which place us in situations that may or may not be to our benefit. However, when we walk around with a suspicious eye, waiting for the axe to fall so to speak so that we may be prepared, we are robbing ourselves of the freedom to experience life unencumbered; without the ghosts of the pasts clouding our present.

Releasing ourselves from the binding of pain can help us get an objective view of ourselves and those who surround us. We will forever be affected by any given incident, but we cannot be solely defined by it. The infinite opportunities for happiness can seemingly disappear when our focus is on that which is/was wrong. As all things change and evolve, we must allow our hearts to forgive and breathe openly so that the light of life may shine through.

Unhinge yourself from past pains so that you may swing freely through life as intended.

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The Courage to Follow Your Dream To Its Completion

Posted on 12/23/2010 by Sheila

Many would say that completion of any major endeavor takes skill, patience, and persistence. I say that projects are completed due to a good dose of courage to see past the seemingly insurmountable obstacles, push past the looming image of self-doubt, and the perception that the finish line will never be in sight. Without courage, very little would ever be accomplished.

Those with enormous visions are well-aware, sometimes too aware, of the pitfalls which await them. There will be those who turn back without even starting; too afraid to face the problems sure to befall them. Some will start with good intentions, but after besting some issues, find themselves too overwhelmed to dare face another two or ten concerns. And then there will be the few who refuse to quit. These individuals address each potential disaster as an opportunity to put to good use the skills accrued from facing other obstacles. From each negative, a positive is derived and skill and confidence both grow.

With advanced skill and belief in themselves, these people conquer the resistance of outside circumstances, fear within themselves, and the need to win the approval of others. They are determined and apply keen focus to transform mountains into molehills, easily sidestepping difficulties which would otherwise trip less courageous individuals.

It is natural to want to preserve peace and harmony within oneself, so maintaining the status quo is comfortable, but complacent. Bursting our own bubble of self-contained surety in our surroundings allows us the opportunity to grow by pitting us against our own will, persistence, and ability to defy fear. When we reach out for more, taking risk with notions of our own possibilities and frailties, and continue down the path to its end, ignoring the comfort of settling back into our accustomed rut, we display our courage to look in the mirror, decide our true desires, win and lose in the fight, but never stop progressing until the dream is realized.

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